18 July 2016

Change Your Perspective to Change Your Marriage

I love nothing more than having readers from all different types of backgrounds and walks of life. Discussions are more interesting that way and I love to learn and grow! That being said, this specific post will be mainly directed to fellow Christians who love Jesus. If you don't fall into that category, you are still welcome along for the ride this week! You may still get a healthy discussion out of it with your spouse!

Today we are going to discuss a concept that is one of the main differences that sets apart a marriage between two Christians versus any other marriage. It is what gives those marriages a purpose greater than just the sum of the two.

The other day I heard a verse I've heard many times before: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23, ESV). Growing up, I've applied it to schoolwork, chores, and later my job. But for some reason it never crossed my mind to apply it to my marriage until I saw it in the full context of the chapter. Future note to self: always remember to look at the full context of the chapter! Ha.

I had to mull it over. This was a doozy! What would it look like if I gave selflessly in my marriage for God instead of my just my husband?

Right before this verse, Paul gave instructions to various groups of people with applications according to their roles. Husbands and wives were among these to love and submit. It's humorous that it seems like God knew what our immediate protest would be:

But he doesn't love me the way I need!
But she is so mean!
But he is selfish!
But she is disrespectful!

So of course the very next verse puts an end to our seemingly justified excuses why he or she doesn't deserve it. Do it for the Lord, not your husband who isn't acting very loving at the moment. Do it for the Lord, not your wife who just let you down yet again.

We need to ask ourselves - what is our ultimate motivation? Is it your spouse's behavior? He or she is imperfect and will not always deserve your love or respect at the moment. But God is always perfect. He is very deserving of our obedience, so our motivation can stay constant if we make that our main focus and goal.

One thing that sweetens the pot is that the following verse states that we "will receive the inheritance as your reward" since we are "serving the Lord Christ" (v. 24).

Those of you who are lovers of justice and all things being "fair" in the world, especially when your spouse really doesn't seem deserving at the moment, you can take comfort in the following: "For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality" (v. 25). You can be a rockstar wife or husband, doing it purely for God, even when your spouse doesn't "deserve" it. You can rest easy knowing that when they are in the wrong, it does not go unnoticed. But your actions will be seen and rewarded. Basically, let God take care of your spouse's actions and just be concerned with yourself.

So when you see dirty laundry on the floor yet again, don't just leave it knowing your spouse should have to pick it up. Do it for the Lord. When your spouse verbally berates you and you want to yell back with an equally scathing comment, instead use your words to build him or her up because your focus is on pleasing God.

What is hard to do for an imperfect spouse, is infinitely easier to do for a perfect heavenly Father. If you can change your perspective, you can change your marriage.

1 comment :

  1. Thanks for writing Rachel! I always have something to look forward to from your Monday posts.


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